Grief and Loss

I was quite young when I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis, the diagnostic process was long and time consuming. However the effects of illness had quickly started to impact my life. My joints were often swollen, tender and painful. As a young mother of two active boys both under the age of 5 life was not easy with the illness because it affected me physically as well as emotionally . I used to feel worried, sad, angry, frustrated and confused all at the same time. I didn’t quite understand what was happening to me. My family doctor suggested I see a mental health counsellor to help me understand and cope with my illness and emotional turbulence.

During my counselling meetings I realized what I was experiencing was called “ grief”. This was my Aha moment because now everything started to make sense to me. With the help of my therapist I realized that I was not being crazy when I felt the emotional ups and downs. I was experiencing grief for the loss of health and mobility.

My therapist helped me understand the 5 stages of grief namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.With this new knowledge, the feelings that I felt had started to make sense to me. I understood why I could not accept my diagnosis, why I was angry, why I was negotiating with myself and why I was sad and depressed. This information normalized my feelings and provided immense mental relief to me.

I realized that anybody experiencing grief would respond, react and feel the same way. I also realize that grief affects everyone differently and each stage of grief and the time it takes to move on differs from person to person and that’s okay. There can be no timeframe for when a person’s grief will “end”.

Besides having a skilled mental health therapist on my side what also helped was having a strong support network of family, friends and well wishers helped in my recovery. I have now reached a place where I have accepted and embraced my illness and am working towards living life to the fullest.